As another year comes to a close, I find myself doing some serious reflecting. I really do believe it’s important to take a look back on how far you’ve come, how much progress you’ve made as a person and even see how much you’ve held yourself back and what you can do to grow even more in the oncoming year.
What I accomplished in 2017: exercising consistently
What I hope to accomplish in 2018: get my diet in check
Halfway through 2017, I realized why I was so unhappy and why I didn’t feel like myself. For a while, I had been feeling off. I didn’t enjoy a lot of the same things anymore. I was low on energy. I felt more self conscious than I had in a while. I’ve always been one for body positivity and loving yourself and I think I just didn’t want to admit to myself that I was in a place where I wasn’t in love with myself, where I couldn’t think positively about my body. Starting back in 2014, I had started to gain a significant amount of weight. I didn’t know why it was happening. I was eating healthier than I ever had (hello medium fries and a mcchicken every single day in high school) and yet… I was still gaining weight. While I began to embrace my curvier look, the truth is, I still wasn’t 100% happy with how I looked. Instead of doing anything to change, I just kept feeling sorry for myself and I feel like that’s why I reached such a low in 2017. I cried about my body every single night. In the summer, I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself that I’m done feeling sorry for myself and somehow, I was gonna make a change. I had always been an all or nothing person and for a lot of things, I still am, but I realized that was actually my downfall when it came to my fitness journey. I would always start off really strong and then slowly, but surely I would burn myself out and land back right at the beginning. This time, I started off slow. I started by doing small workouts, a couple of times a week and worked myself up to working out at least 5 times a week, instead of starting off working out every single day. I learned what type of exercise I loved (lifting), instead of forcing myself to do cardio until I threw up. I made small changes and built up to the bigger ones and I feel like that’s what really has made the difference.
Moving into 2018, now that exercise is a part of my routine, I really want to focus on my diet. While I’ve made progress at the gym, my food choices have held me back. I’m not seeing the results I should be seeing if I just ate better. Being a major foodie, this is something that has always been difficult for me. My plan is to calculate my macros and STICK WITH THEM.
What I accomplished in 2017: dedicated more time to youtube
What I hope to accomplish in 2018: reach 1k subscribers
This goal is pretty self explanatory. This past year, I had promised myself I would take youtube (and this blog) more seriously as this is what I really enjoy doing. I didn’t quite follow that and lately, I’ve been really disappointed in myself because of that. I’m definitely not where I wanted to be at the start of 2017, but instead of feeling sorry for myself, I’m going into 2018 with a plan. I plan to upload a video at least once a week. I’m also considering bringing weekly vlogs into the mix. I used to vlog quite often at the start of my youtube channel and I actually miss it a lot. I stopped because I found it was a bit hard to find a balance between wanting to document everything and being in the moment. I spent this past year focusing entirely on being in the moment and now, I feel like I can go back into vlogging with more balance.
What I hope to accomplish in 2018: live my truth
Nope, no typos there. In 2017, probably due to my growing self consciousness and my self esteem reaching an all time low, my anxiety grew. I began to question every move and every decision I made. I cared too much about what everyone else thought about me. I did things to appease everyone else, instead of well… doing things for me. Going into 2018, I’m ready to feel like myself again. I’m ready to be happy with myself again. I’m ready to love myself again. I’m going to try harder to focus on the things that make ME happy.